...May I Complement You on Your Candlestick?
human resources (interviewer) - "what makes you qualified to work at a private detective agency?"police cadet (job applicant) - "well, I can be really quiet and I'm very verrrrry good at playing...
View ArticleTo Be Fair, This Quote Is Hilarious If You're Stoned.
Non-native english speaker boss: The idee (pronounced I-d) is...Native english speaker colleague interrupts: Did you mean idea? (highlighting the e-a part).Non-native english speaker boss: No, unless...
View ArticleA Poor Workman Blames His Tool
Cable guy: We're going in existing boxes and if their boxes are crooked then there's really nothing we can do about it.Galveston, TX Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf? Link · Email · Quote this! ·...
View ArticleAt Least He's Not Pregnant
Female: "that man is more confused than a twelve-year-old on her first period."100 Block, Main St., Ottawa Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf? Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted...
View ArticleAre All Chiropractors Drama Queens? Discuss.
Secretary: "my doctor told me that if I crack my neck I'll go blind."Superintendant: "how are you still alive?"West Chester, Pennsylvania Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf? Link · Email · Quote...
View ArticleThanks for Nothing, Feminism!
Female coworker (asking permission to leave desk): Do you need me right now?Male printer repairman: No.Female coworker: That's what men always say to me...Champaign, IL Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down...
View ArticleReal Leaders Vomit Under Someone Else's Desk
<b>president:</b> when is your birthday again?<b>vp:</b> sunday.<b>president:</b> you coming in monday?<b>vp:</b> oh, I'll be here, I'll just probably be...
View ArticleSweetie, That Was You on a Voicemail.
<b>customer service rep:</b> did we ever get original bills from mk? Didn't someone want them? Some crazy lady? Do you know what I'm talking about?... Do I know what I'm talking about?Fort...
View Article...Like the Spanish?
"I thought the indians were extinct?"Elgin, IL Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf? Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-12-07
View ArticleFinally, a Use for That Heavy Pan!
<b>southern girl ordering pizza hut online:</b> so everyone is cool with pan crust?<b>brooklyn girl:</b> how the hell are you going to order pan crust while you're sitting next...
View ArticleAre You Coming on to Me?
shop assistant - is sparkling water real water? Other shop assitant - yes of course it's "water"shop assistant- yeh... But does it actually quench your thirst?Auckland Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down...
View Article...What Do You Mean "Wrong Number"?
Co-worker on the phone to wife, in the middle of a #30-person cubicle area, after returning to the office from a doctors appointmnet. Keep in mind he is famous here for his loud booming voice and...
View ArticleOnly If I'm Good
Office drone #1: Hey, are you coming to bowling?Office drone #2: I'll let you know tomorrow, I have to check with my wife.Office drone #3: Lame!Office drone #2: Sorry, aren't you going on holidays with...
View Article...According to the Postal Service
Editor: Yeah, I don't think we even had the crib set up when we brought my son home from the hospital. He spent the first few weeks in a pack-and-play next to the bed. Really, you can just put them in...
View Article*Shudder*
i have anal blood in me!120 Wall Street, NYC Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf? Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-12-07
View ArticleWhy Are You Always Talking About Your Seed?
Coworker #1: Everywhere I go, there's rape! Coworker #2 frowns.Coworker #1: Seed! Rapeseed! The yellow stuff in the fields! Coworker #2 looks dubious.Coworker #1: Fine! Coworker #1 stalks off.Stroud,...
View Article...Into the Digital Age
Nasty old lady: I ordered an ipad mini with wifi. I just have to call up the cable company and tell them to turn on the wifi in my house. I don't think I signed up for that.Coworker: Just have your son...
View Article...Making You Allergic to Reality
Woman on the phone in the cube behind me responding to someone: "well its just the schizophrenia."101 Federal St Boston MA Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf? Link · Email · Quote this! ·...
View ArticleNumber One or Two?
Two females are talking back and forth in the one female's office. The third female, who had been gone for a while on vacation enters the office. They all greet when the head lady says:"we're talking...
View ArticleThis Is Popeyes Chicken, Right?
where are the minorities?!Itasca, IL Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf? Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-12-10
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